Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard..

Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.


First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?


Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?


Third:

What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and

says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers"

Forrest replied, "Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and
he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with
this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I
had in mind....but I will have to give you that one, too
Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me
God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."

I am in tears Stone, that was so funny. Did you write that
yourself or did you get it from some one else. This one was really funny. Lee

I printed this one out for my grandmother and mother to
read. They do not have computers. they are going to love it to. Thanks for
posting it Stone.

I relate to Forrest i'm 165 IQ the other end of the spectrum, but in alot of life i can be very dumb, I have attention Order= ADD i call it focus order. i can be looking at a flower and the world blows up and i am still happy in a flower patch and elephants never forget, but what do they have to remember, a box of chocolates? or they had a peanut a week ago without a piece of chocolate?

My Jewish mom was going to have me commited by a Jewish Psy in the north/Boston, till they could get me to stop sharing Jesus, but the southern local Psy said i find nothing wrong with David and send him back to his bible college, I am not a Doctor Thomas, David I have no doubts, he said as he shook my hand.

Here you remind me of the Apostle Peter when they could not
shut him up ether, and throw him in prison and the Apostle Paul who the also
could not shut up. Praise God for those who refuse to shut up about Jesus. We
all need to be bold Christians for the coming of our great King is at hand. Hallelujah.
Lee

Hi David, I must have that ADD ALSO BECAUSE i CAN ONLY FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME. Wow i have just notice this as you brought that to my attention. I will look into this on the net. thanks for joining and for being active, as you can see many join but so few are active. Where are the other 9, LOL, I was tired and I put 99 instead of 9. I wish we were all active for God's kingdom. you are so funny and I enjoy your Humor very much please do not ever stop. Anna

_____________________ i dont have anything better to do -______-- __-----------_ because serving Jesus is the best.
__________

__
____ __________ have a great Sunday and thanks too, and life is -------------------great and then you go to heaven, you cant beat ------------------the program
I could only read part of your words but because of the logo blocking them, but they were all good thanks Mrs Wonderfull

David, I am not far behind you at 137. I think I had ADD before they knew what it was, back then we called it --- being a boy.

yes kids like to play, and with ADD who wants to do school work, plus may parents divorced when i was in the 3rd grade so i rebelled, and got kicked out of school LOL and flunked my grade, sent to a Jewish boys home, and private school, i got a double promotion, and was on a roll. Hard bubkie roll with hot pastromi, or cream cheese and lox hehe

anyways i learned to keep a more balanced focus, but it takes the Lord's help to pull me out of stuff

once i mailed to over 9,000 Jewish people, ordered telephone books and got some synagogue bulletins especially Pittsburgh and did 3 mailings to them, the first is we gotta stop the Messianics look what they are printing, with testimonies,
second mailing, we dont have any answers, who will help with more testimonies and Messianic references
third, when I have come to the Messiah, we didnt have any answers except that Yeshua/Jesus is our messiah

to which i got death threats and more, but i used a post office box to get my mail, and they couldnt kill the box, but i traced postage meter markings and reported employees for threatening me

anyways, I got ring of fire/instant thinking ADD and it helps me sum up people instantly, i think your all great so far, peace/shalom David

I did not do so well in school, I did not want to learn. But later on in life I wish I had. You see the reason that I wish I had is not so I could have gotten a better job and make more money, the reason I wish I would have learned is because instead of trying to play catch up on learning things I should have learned in school now, if I already would have learned the things like reading and spelling, I could spend even more time on God’s Word. But because I did not want to learn in school I have to teach myself. When I got dropped out of school I did not know how to tell time or count money or write a check out or anything. I have to teach myself. About learning how to read, I ask God to teach me how to read after I got saved in the year of 2001. I wanted to read God’s Word and so God did help me learn how to read. Then I wanted to write letters for him so I ask God to teach me how to spell and He did and I am steel in the prossess of learning to spell. Then I got a computer and I ask God to teach me How to type, so I unplugged the key board from the computer and sat on the couch and began to memorize the keys praying for God to give me the ability. Within two hours I was typing. I went from not knowing nothing about typing to typing without looking, although not very fast at first but I was doing it. That was six years ago. I am way faster now. Praise God. I was nothing, dead even though I lived, but God gave me life and a hope and a future. He made something out of nothing, that was me little old Lee.

I was one who could have been a very good student, if I had applied myself. Instead I settled for anything as long as I passed. I was having way to much "fun" getting drunk, high, beating people up (especially Christians), and sleeping with a lot of girls.
I was so bad the Vice Principal of our High School sayed to me one day, "If you ever don't want to go to class, you can come to my office and I will leave."
I told my Mom a few years ago that I feel like I did not earn my High School Diploma, instead they kicked me out with my diploma because they did not want me to come back the next year. She agreed with me.

Run Forrest Run miracles happen when we run for Jesus. and I am from Boston bar mitzvahd there. and now a Jew in Jesus amazing grace and proud to be a completed Jew a Christian of Jewish heritage and a gentile is a greater miracle they had to come further to a Jewish messiah, I am off now to do evangelism for the day i put up a prayer request, about a death Edwardo too.

and we need to run the good race till our time is done

yet, relax and smell the roses along the way.

yes we all have pasts and that is why its past and we call the present a present.
our past bad and searching stories and the miracle is we all came to the same Jesus and got delivered to a new life.

and reading the bible does miracles in our life, it was the first grammer primer book in USA schools.

and thank God for what we have, David in Jesus amazing grace

and pick a good piece of Chocolate, Jesus knows he already tried em all. thank God!